Archive for August, 2011

Roast of Coleman

Sunday, August 28th, 2011

I am in Toastmasters, and last week I had to give a roast. I pretended it was Coleman’s fifth birthday. Cole produces a lot of material to work with, so it was quite easy to write this 4 minute speech. I doubt I’ll actually do this on his birthday, so I thought it’d be nice to post it here.

To my beautiful, talented son Coleman Bresnahan Plaster. Just five years ago, you and I spent our first night together at Summerlin Hospital, and it goes without saying that you have changed a lot since Day One. You arrived looking just like your Daddy, but as most of us have figured out, your personality is actually a lot like mine. We’ll leave it up to Gabby to be the crazy one.

Coleman, when people have children, one of the things they most often hear is how it will change your life. This is what we call a cliché. You have changed my life in the most remarkable way. It has made me so happy to spend 2 years with just you and then watch you get to know your baby sister Gabby.

Coleman, on your fifth birthday, I’d like to extol your various talents and abilities.

Let’s start with your dancing abilities. About six months ago, I was worried that your little sister was already outdancing you, but I think you caught on to that and stepped it up a notch. Watching So You Think You Can Dance when Granny Gigi comes to babysit has certainly helped. Uncle Paul saw your video on You Tube recently dancing to Michael Jackson’s PYT (YouTube video), and said it’s his favorite video yet. He said it reminded him of himself as a kid, and that he was a goober too. Your goofy dance style is just one of the things I love about you.

Let’s move on to your relationship with your Grandma Wendy. At a young age – around 2 years old – you intuitively knew that this was the most important person in your life to get on her good side. What have you gained from your winning smile and attitude around Grandma Wendy? Candy! Clothes! Toys galore! Trips to the condo in LA! Way to go for picking up on this at such an early age. All kidding aside, I’m really proud of you for being sweet to your grandparents and treating them with respect. Grandma Wendy recently told you that you were too adorable and that you shouldn’t get any cuter. She said “Don’t get any cuter!” After she returned from a long vacation, she told you how adorable you were, and you said “Grandma, you told me not to get any cuter, but I got cuter!” I can’t even fathom how many people she’s told that story to.

You’ve also become quite the philosopher. I’ve been quite amused by your philosophy that having dogs or kids is very important. I was recently talking about a new friend, and you asked – Do they have kids? I said no. Then you asked – Do they have dogs? I said no. You said, “Then you shouldn’t be friends with her because she’s not a good person.” I’m not sure where that came from, but I think you have strong beliefs that taking care of kids and pets is very important. And I’m happy to hear that you want to “get three kids” when you grow up. I can’t wait!

And finally, your relationship with your little sister Gabby, who adores you but also loves to antagonize you. At first, you were pretty cool with her when she didn’t move around much and get in your way. Then as she got older but wasn’t yet talking, you were often annoyed when she’d snatch your toy right out of your hand. I’ll never forget the day I told you how to deal with her when she took your toys. We both learned a valuable lesson that day about how to treat others. When something didn’t go your way, you would yell at her and command her “Gabby, GIVE THAT BACK!” I suggested you talk in a high pitched baby voice – “Gabby, would you please give me my toy back.” And it worked! We looked at each other in amazement. You regularly use that tone of voice with her now, and it almost always works. I’m so glad we discovered that technique together. I’m also glad that you now treat Gabby as your friend.

Coleman, on your birthday, I want to thank you for being such a sweet, loving child to your family and friends and thank you for the joy you bring to my life. Happy Birthday.

We had family over for dinner a few weeks ago. Video of Coleman perfecting his racing in the house and getting some good advice on being #1.

Coleman loves pretending he’s a pilot when visiting the Children’s Museum.


The Children’s Museum brings out Cole and Gabby’s goofy side.


Speaking of goofy, Coleman recently completed two weeks at creative dance camp with Star Arts. Here’s his silly shot with his class.


Here’s a video from his second week: Da La Soul’s Me Myself and I

Cole is multi-talented. He can hold a pencil with his left foot!


He’s had a lot of fun with the Spider-Man costume we bought  him at Costco.


We took a kid vacation to San Diego, and we stayed at TJ and Blake’s the first night. Here Cole and Gabby are relaxing on TJ’s father’s leather chair.


Then we went biking around Mission Bay. Video of Cole’s biking abilities.

Cole built a sand castle at a nearby park, and a group of kids walked right in front of him and stomped on it. Cole almost cried, but did a great job of holding it together. The moms of the kids saw what happened and made them apologize and help Cole get more wet sand to rebuild it. I was thankful that the other moms were paying attention, because I would have made Cole deal with it himself.


On the bay at our resort, Paradise Point.


Enjoying breakfast by the water.


We checked out jet ski rental prices, but never found time to do it.


We spent the better part of the day poolside. Cole wanted to go home after two hours (he was “hot” in 85 degree weather), but he persevered.  They loved playing in the sand right next to the pool.


Cole and Gabby had dinner with 9 adults at Baleen and were very well behaved. Too bad we can’t say the same for our server!


Cole got a miniature golf lesson from his daddy the day we left.


The part that was most memorable for him was playing in the waves for 10 minutes, right before we left to go back to Las Vegas. We’ll have to spend more time in the ocean next time.


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